Secret Santa
by Herajuku
Summary: the title sums it up!


**Ho Ho Ho!! ^.^**

* * *

Today began like any other in Konoha, the birds chirped, the wind blew, and snow filled the air. Christmas time was coming and the ninja were so excited. The senseis gather in the Hokage's office to discuss a very important matter.

"Secret Santa?!" the teachers yelled.

"Yes, I've decided that with everything that's been going on, that the kids deserve a break. Nothing special, just a little gift giving."

"YES! THE TIME TO SPREAD CHRISTMAS CHEER IS NEAR. I SAY WE GO CAROLING AS WELL!"

Everyone stared at Gai blankly.

"WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS! WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS! WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS. AND na na na na YEAR!" he sang.

"You're dismissed." She said, sending them off with a wave of her hand.

* * *

"Hey Naruto, Christmas is coming up. Just wait until _I _get Sakura under the mistletoe." Lee swooned.

"Ha! I'll get Sakura under the mistletoe and drink eggnog 'till I puke." Naruto smiled, thinking of that eggnog.

"We haven't been called to the training grounds altogether since 'The Talk'." Kiba said as he watched Akamaru try and walk in that ridiculous Santa suit his sister put him in. "What do they want with us now?"

"I'm telling you Kiba," Naruto began, "They're calling us all here to tell all of you that I am the greatest ninja and next Hokage."

"CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS! TIME IS HERE, TIME FOR JOY AND TIME FOR-" Lee sang.

"Shut the hell up!" Neji shouted. "I swear, being around Lee all the time is giving me diabetes." He said to Sasuke and Shino.

"Tch." Sasuke scoffed. "Try being around that idiot Naruto for a week."

"Psshh. Shino cut in. Try counting a group Arilus Cristatus with a bunch of little Euschistus servuses running around." Shino snorted. "Talk about a stink fest!" he laughed.

Neji and Sasuke gave Shino a dumbfounded look and walked ahead.

"I hear we'll be doing secret Santa." Ino squeaked to Sakura. "I hope I get to be Sasuke's!"

"Pshh." Sakura laughed. "Not only will I be Sasuke's secret Santa, but we'll also be kissing under the mistletoe while you're freezing your ass off in the snow." She walked ahead of Ino to catch up with Sasuke.

"This is gonna be such a drag." Shikamaru yawned.

"Cookies, cookies, cookies!" Choji chanted. "My mom started baking cookies! I hope this assembly is quick."

The ninja gathered in the training grounds and stood before their teachers.

"We have assembled you here because you have been assigned to participate in the secret Santa…thing." Asuma began. "Where the hell is, Iruka? He's better at this." He said under his breath. "…so Kakashi will go around with the box thing and you will draw a card and whoever's name is on that card will be the person you will provide a gift for." He walked over to Kakashi. "Thank God we don't have to show up to this thing."

"This is mandatory." Kurenai added.

"Oh and I know you're all wondering…" Asuma added. "I'm low on cigarettes and I wear a size 10."

Kakashi put his book away and went around the group with the box and let everyone pick a card.

"What if you don't provide a gift?" Neji asked.

"YOU'LL GO TO HELL. CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT GIVING! SO GIVE!"

"Have your presents ready by tomorrow."

The teachers walked off leaving the students to see who they have to get a gift for.

"Sakura…" Shino said blankly.

"Neji!!" Ten-Ten shrieked.

"Shino." Hinata whispered to herself.

"Ten-Ten. Tch." Sasuke scoffed.

"Hinata." Shikamaru yawned.

"Sasuke!" Lee said with fury in his eyes.

"Shikamaru?" Ino shrieked in disappointment.

"Lee. Damn, I wanted Sakura." Naruto said.

"Ino." Kiba smirked, giving her a wink.

"Naruto?!" Sakura screamed in anger

"Choji…" Neji sighed.

"Kiba." Choji said with a mouth full of chips.

* * *

"Hey!" Sakura called to Hinata, Ino, and Ten-Ten. "I have an idea of what I want to get Naruto. You wanna come to the mall with me?"

"I know what I want to give Neji." Ten-Ten said with a pervy grin.

"I'll come to the mall, there's a new outfit I want…and I'll pick something up for Shikamaru while I'm there; maybe a personality."

"Wha- What could Shino want?" Hinata said nervously looking in his direction.

"A girlfriend!" Ino chuckled. "You better give him some butt. You remember that talk we had, right?"

Hinata's face turned bright red.

"Come on let's go." Sakura said leading the way.

"What do you think Ten-Ten would want?" Sasuke asked Neji as they walked up the road, eyeing small thrift stores.

"How the hell should I know? I don't give a damn about this secret Santa thing anyway. I'll pick Choji up a pack of slimfast."

"Sasuke, Sakura's your girlfriend, right? My assassin beetle just laid eggs; you think she would like one?" Shino asked.

"Like hell she's my girlfriend and no one would like that." Sasuke replied flatly. "…and Ten-Ten's getting the first thing I see in this store." He said walking in the door, followed by Shino and Neji.

"You think Ino would look good in this?" Kiba asked Naruto, as he held up a small bikini.

Naruto inched over to Kiba. "What should I get Lee?" he said out the side of his mouth.

"The hell if I'd know. Ask him, he's right there." Kiba said as he picked up another bikini.

"We can't tell who we're getting a gift for."

"OH MY GOSH! THEY ACTUALLY HAVE IT!" Lee shouted. "BLACK DRAGON NUNCHUCKS!"

Naruto smiled hard as he walked over to Lee.

"What's with your face?" Lee asked.

"Black Dragon Nunchucks, eh?" Naruto looked at the weapon then down to the price tag. "WHAT THE HELL?! These things cost more than my home!!"

"I know so I'll just come here every day and look at them. It's an honor to be in their presence."

Naruto sighed. _I don't like this guy that much. _

"Now I have to find something for Sasuke, you're his best friend, right. What does he like?"

"Like hell he's my best friend! I could care less what you get that bastard!" Naruto shouted storming off.

"This secret Santa is horseshit. I never had to think so much about another person, personally. Hinata doesn't talk to me so how should I know what to get her?"

"Shikamaru, you're taking this a bit too seriously. I'm getting Kiba some dog biscuits, I hear they taste great." Choji grinned as he eyed the bag of dog biscuits.

"I'll find something for her tomorrow. I'm exhausted." Shikamaru sighed; he nearly threw up once he noticed Choji gnawing on one of the biscuits.

* * *

The next day rolled around and the ninja all regrouped at the usual training grounds with their presents in hand. The trees were decorated, a mistletoe hung across two small trees, and a few snowmen stood here and there. There was even a table of Christmas food.

Sakura stood in a circle with Hinata, Ino, and Ten-Ten. "Naruto better appreciate this." She growled. She walked over to Naruto who was in the middle of a conversation with Kiba and Lee. "Here." She huffed shoving the box in Naruto's hand.

Naruto smiled hard again. "You were my secret Santa?" he shrieked. "To think you had to think of me long enough to figure out what I would like. He slowly opened the box and gawked at the Xbox 360 game system and Call of Duty videogame. "Thank you so much!" he said trying to hug Sakura. She punched him in the gut and walked away.

"Speaking of presents I have to give Ino her's." Kiba and Akamaru walked up to Ino. Kiba gave Ino a box.

"What?!" Ino yelled, when she looked at the gift. It was a skimpy little nurse's dress.

"I hear you've been studying under Tsunade for a while. How about you come play doctor on me?"

"LIKE HELL I WILL WEAR SOMETHING LIKE THIS!" she stopped and thought about Sasuke, then added. "AT LEAST IN FRONT OF YOU!"

Kiba pleaded with her until Choji walked up behind him. He handed Kiba a half empty bag of dog biscuits. "Merry Christmas!" he sang.

"Seriously…" Kiba said. "Did you eat them all, fatty!" he yelled until he saw the look on Choji's face. Kiba never ran faster trying to get away from Choji.

"Umm, Sh-Shino-kun." Hinata said to get his attention. He turned around and before he knew it an ant farm was shoved into his hands. Before he could thank her for his gift she ran off.

"Neji." Ten-Ten sang. "Look what I got you." She pulled out a small box.

"Keep it." Neji said discreetly. He handed her a box. "Give this to Choji when you see him."

"A box of donuts?" Ten-Ten said to herself as she watched Neji walk off.

"So Sasuke, what'd you get?" Sakura asked as she walked over to him and Shino.

"Nothing, yet."

"Sakura I got your gift." Shino said, handing her a silk top.

"Uhh, thanks." Sakura said awkwardly.

"My silk worms and I created it for you yesterday."

"Silk worms? What is silk made out of?" Sakura asked.

"Their spit." He replied.

Sakura dropped the shirt and ran into the woods to puke.

Lee came up behind Sasuke. "Even though you are my worst enemy, I was still forced by Gai-sensei to buy you a gift." He handed Sasuke a box, Sasuke shoved it into his pocket and walked away. "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO OPEN IT?!" Lee cried; he began after Sasuke until Naruto stopped him.

Sasuke walked up to Ten-Ten who called after Choji repeatedly. "Ten-Ten!" he called. She stopped and looked at him. "Here's your gift." he handed her a small cage.

"Oh my God! A bunny!" she shrieked. "Thanks!"

Sasuke shoved his hands into his pockets and walked home as well.

"Lee, you freaking bastard!" Naruto shouted. Lee gave him a confused look. "You wanted the most expensive thing you could find in the store!" he handed Lee a box. "Merry F-ing Christmas."

Lee opened the box to see the sacred Black Dragon Nunchucks that he wanted so badly. "THANK YOU SO MUCH, NARUTO. I OWE YOU ONE!" he said trying to hug him.

Hinata sat alone over by a tree watching everyone receive their presents. She noticed Shikamaru make his way over to her. With a box in one hand and a game of Scrabble in the other. "Hey." He said.

"H-Hi." She replied. She stared at the box of Scrabble.

"Ino." Shikamaru sighed, eyeing his gift. "Here's your gift." He said handing her small box. She opened it to see a beautiful diamond necklace.

Hinata's eyes lit up as she hopped up and hugged him. About five seconds into the hug, they both pulled away, blushing.

* * *

"Now it's time to get Sasuke under the mistletoe." Ino and Sakura said in unison. "What?!" they said together again.

They both started walking to the mistletoe to get their first, it started as a slow stride, then a jog, then they were as fast as bullet trains fighting to the mistletoe.

Meanwhile…

"Now I'll get to kiss Sakura." Lee and Naruto said at the same time. They gave each other a death glare and ran at top speed to the mistletoe.

They all ran trying to beat their rival until…BAM! They found themselves on the ground with a headache.

"Damn Sakura." Ino winced. "You're damn forehead, head butted all of us."

When Sakura and Ino stood up they were face to face with Lee and Naruto. "Looks like you gotta kiss them!" Ten-Ten called as she and the rest of the ninja walked up to the mistletoe.

Ino leaned in to Lee and Sakura leaned in to Naruto, with their lips on inches apart. The girls shouted, "Not gonna happen!" and walked back to the village.

* * *

**Review please!!!!!**


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